Wednesday, October 15, 2008

As those of you who read this know, I don't like to make this blog about me. I don't like to express how I am feeling about myself. So, please don't ask me questions. I just need to get out some thoughts and because I don't put pen to paper in a journal this is my outlet.

Do you ever have those days where the proverbial lightbulb goes on? It could have been any number of things that sparked the light today, Wednesday, October 15th...a full moon I might add.

Maybe it was the 4 hours alone in my car with island music at an acceptable decible in 70+ degree weather in mid-October....

Maybe it was spending the day working outside of the confines of my office...

Maybe it was the new work things I learned today...

Maybe it was the company of my engineer friend...a work acquaintance that I wouldn't mind hanging out with (now that is unusual!)...

Maybe it was the email from my boss that as always I had to read between the lines for the alterior motives. That same email made me think outside the box as to how to address it. Or that the email made me realize I have to take my future into my own hands and make of it what I may; realizing that I can't be concerned about what others are doing but only address what I can be doing. Four hours of alone time was plenty but I somehow still haven't come to a solution (that's a problem!)...

Maybe it was going back to work, until 6:3o pm when I could have gone home at 3:30 and had a bitch session with a fellow coworker (who by the way has the same boss who writes cryptic emails)...

Maybe it was Jillian and her infinite wisdom of addressing psychological problems....the root of problems....

I've come to realize something about myself that is very significant in my life and how I've lived my life. I've realized something that I need to address with myself. All is good. This year has been like no other for me. I guess I'm getting older and wiser (or I'd like to think). I'm already on my way to changing myself. As my best friends know, this year I realized I have a problem with being late for EVERYTHING! First I embraced it, I admitted it and then accepted it. Now guess what? I'm not late for everything anymore....only some things! LOL. Seriously, I have made huge strides. My lightbulb moment today was another realization and acceptance of something I have to work on. Some time soon I hope, no I WILL, post again about my journey.

Thanks for listening......I'm tired and my brain hurts....